Changes are underway. Update soon.

NKOTB Concert - September 2008

Because Steph tagged me, I figured I’d play along. But since most of my photos are still stored on CD’s and an exernal hard drive, and I have yet to condense everything into one place, I was lucky to have 4 photo folders on my new computer. And since none of the rules stated it had to be a picture of you, here it is.

September 2008, NKOTB concert in TO, 3rd row seat, backstage passes, and one childhood fantasy fulfilled. I love the fact that I have someone’s hand doing the “Rock On” sign, right next to a set of bangs belonging to a girl who was either reliving the big-bang phase of the early 90’s, or just never left it. At this concert it could have been either one.

Here are the rules if you want to play along.

If you’d like to play too, this is the way it works:

1. Go to the 4th picture folder on your computer.
2. Post the 4th picture in that folder.
3. Explain the picture.
4. Tag 4 more people.

*I’m not tagging anyone because just about everyone I know has already been tagged. Sometime in the next few days, I’ll do another post after I’ve combined all my photos into one location.*

For a couple of years I’ve been pretty closed off to the idea of dating. I didn’t want to invest the time and energy into another relationship since I honestly thought, “What’s the point?”

So, instead, I focused on myself. Figuring out what I want in life, and developing a life plan of sorts.

All that was fine and dandy until last summer when it occured to me that I was starting to get a little lonely. That perhaps dating wouldn’t be such a horrible thing to endure after all.

Enter Theresa, who very nonchalantly introduced me to a friend of hers (again). He was relatively normal, fairly well adjusted, educated, blah, blah, blah.

Only one problem. No sparks. Not even the dull flicker of a firefly.

I gave it a chance to see if anything would develop. Hell, I gave it a good fight, but there was nothing. I was honest with him though, in telling him I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Fast forward 3 months down the road (early December), and I’ve realized I need out.

I end things with him only to meet someone new right about the same time. Someone who doesn’t just give me butterflies, but full-on rabble of butterflies, giggling like a school girl nerves. He’s sweet, he’s cute, he’s intelligent, he’s driven, he’s gainfully employed, and he doesn’t have commitment issues. He’s absolutely NORMAL! His friends? NORMAL!

It sounds like there should be a but at the end of that paragraph, but there’s not. Not a single “if only”, “but he”, etc.

We enjoy spending time together, and can drift off into the comfortable silence that, dare I say it, is important in relationships.

And, for the first time in years, I spent New Year’s in the arms of a really great guy.

So far, 2009 is rocking….

Normally I make a detailed list of resolutions for the upcoming year. And, as expected, those resolutions fall by the side of the road by mid-year.

So this year I’m doing something a little different. I’m making one resolution, and one resolution only.

To do whatever I need to do in order to be happy.

If working out makes me happy, then I’ll work out. If I want to veg on the soft on Thursday nights, then damn it, that’s what I’m going to do. And I won’t feel guilty about not meeting some crazy resolution to work out 4 times a week.

If I want to go on a trip and get blitzed for that horrible birthday that’s a good year away, then that’s what I’m going to do. If I decide to take off for a weekend to Buffalo with the guy I’m dating, then that’s what I’m going to do.

This year is all about me and doing what I want, and need, to do in order to find happiness. Resolutions only make me depressed when I look back and realize I didn’t accomplish half of what I set out to do.

So bring on 2009 and whatever it entails. I’m ready for it.

Despite the fact that Christmas Day was marred by my developing a horrible stomach bug, it wasn’t all that bad. Presents were eventually opened, and merriment was had by the majority of my family out at my sisters in Ajax.

Thankfully I wasn’t awake, or well enough, to care much about what I was missing while I was at home by myself sleeping the day away with a bucket close to my bed.

I did get to open my presents later on that evening when I managed to stay awake for about 2 hours, and am grateful for what Santa brought me.

(What do you mean there’s no Santa? There most certainly is!)

The days since Christmas Day have been filled with fun and good news. From popcorn fights, to finally seeing an excellent comedy in the theatre (4 Christmases in case you’re interested), to hearing yet more good news from friends in regards to babies, to Channukah parties, and just general good cheer from all sides, I have very high hopes that 2009 is going to be a very good year.

Now, if only the economy would improve a bit, there would be nothing to complain about.

Santa, if you’re listening, can you do anything to improve our economy in the near future?

Let me tell you a tale that is often told
In the great Celestial Hall
All about an angel only 4 years old
The littlest angel of all.

How all day he would play with a little box
That to others had no worth
Ah, but there were treasures in this little box
The treasures he brought from earth

Just a butterfly with golden wings
A little piece of a hollow log
Two shiny stones from a river bank
And the worn out strap of his faithful dog

Then the angels all heard that the Holy Child
Would be born in Bethlehem
And they all brought presents for the Holy Child
And each gift was a heavenly gem

Then the littlest angel put his little box
With the presents fine and rare
And the littlest angel sat alone and cried
For his gift was so meager and bare

Just a butterfly with golden wings
A little piece of a hollow log
Two shiny stones from a river bank
And the worn-out strap of his faithful dog

But the Lord chose the gift of the little box
That a child had blessed with love
And it started glowing that very night
It became the star up above

When you see that star as it shines on high
In the great Celestial Hall
You will know the proudest angel in the sky
Is the littlest angel of all

With his butterfly with golden wings
A little piece of a hollow log
Two shiny stones from a riverbank
And the worn-out strap of his faithful dog

“The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.” ~Unknown~

Za Za Zu

Etymology: Translation of the french word “je ne sais quoi” meaning “I don’t know”.

Definiton: Don’t know what it is about that person that I like, but there is definitely something. They have some sort of spunk about them; they don’t neccessarily have to be good looking but there’s just something. It’s kind of like the chemistry between two people, the charisma that they have and the way they make you feel.

****

I don’t feel guilty posting about this now that it’s over. So here goes.

There’s one piece of information I didn’t include in my earlier post. I was spending time with a member of the male species since the end of August. (What a novel idea!)

And although he seemed like a perfectly nice guy, there were no butterflies, or za za zu if you will. I was honest about my intentions from the get go about how I wasn’t sure if I wanted another relationship right now. Dating is/was relatively new and I don’t think I was ready to hope back into a relationship. What I didn’t mention (to spare his feelings), when I am/was it definitely wasn’t going to be with him.

So for the last little while we’ve been hanging out, going to movies, keeping things very casual. No classifying anything, and just referring to each other as friends.

Well, a few weeks ago I realized things were going to have to end. When I found myself making excuses to avoid seeing him at all, and not particularly looking forward to his advances, I knew I had to do it.

But being the chicken shit that I am, I hmmm’d and hawww’d over it as long as possible. This weekend? I finally gathered up the courage and cut him loose. As my friend pointed out, with certain other situations currently taking place, it really was the time to do it.

So I had THE talk with him on Sunday. He didn’t say much – but I didn’t give him much of a chance. He seemed quiet, and perhaps a touch angry about it but didn’t try to argue the point too much. And yes, I did utter the totally cliché phrases of “I’d like to be friends”, and “It’s not you, it really is me”, but both were followed up with additional statements.

“I’d like to be friends” was followed by “but that’s totally up to you”. And “It’s not you, it really is me” was followed up by me explaining that something was missing.

So after taking the high road and doing this face to face, and letting him off gently, what does the loser decide to do? UNFRIEND ME FROM FACEBOOK! How freaking juvenile is that?

At least now I can feel free to post whatever status I want without having to worry about hurting his feelings.

So there, now you the whole story of the last 3.5 months of my life.

There are a few other tidbits, but they are works in progress and can’t, and won’t, be disclosed until a future date.

After nearly a 3.5 month hiatus, I find myself back where I started. I wish I knew where to start.

I’m still unattached, much to the dismay of certain friends. If I here one more person comment on how “I’m nearly 30 and don’t I want to get married and have children”, I may just lose my mind completely.

Work continues to take up a fair chunk of my time. But considering the state that our economy is in, I’m not going to complain. I’m going to continue to work my ass of and not complain, and do everything I can to maintain my status as a reliable and dependable employee. Make sure my boss is always happy with me.

I still have my family and friends (of course) who provide endless joy. The kids are growing up much too fast. If I’m depressed over it I can’t imagine how my sisters are feeling.

I’ve been honoured to spend a quiet evening with my friend Sandra, and her boys. Most especially the very precious Nolan who was only two weeks old.

And I’ve been extremely excited for Theresa, as her and her DH are anxiously awaiting the arrival of their baby (forever known as Peanut).

Other then that, it’s been life as usual. I can say this though – I’ve finally found the time to hit the gym hard. And the results? They are definitely showing!

I wish I had something more interesting to say considering the time lapse, but sadly, the above has summed it all up.

So, here’s to being back online and once again having a very reliable computer.

“Maybe she’s having a little tryst….”
“That’s only slightly disturbing. And by slightly disturbing I mean extremely traumatizing.”
“Very true.”