Juxtaposition

Who I Was Before….

Heading off to the club where I was guaranteed to run into that cute guy I would always drink with. And, inevitably, end up making out with. The one who’s name I could never remember, either because it was all in fun, or perhaps I was just a little drunk.

Meeting people left, right and centre. Occasionally in very unique ways (like the guy who called my cell phone by mistake and I wound up talking to for a couple of weeks).

Who I Became….

“What happened to the clam I used to know? The one who used to yell at me when I’d start drinking?”

Becoming somewhat introverted and a bit of a loner. Started to develop a mild case of anxiety in crowded places and when confronted with the idea of meeting a large group of people.

Who I Am Now….

Heading out to the bar with one friend, and making friends with several new people over the course of the night.

Being the “buffer zone” when people are nervous about situations. Being the girl your friends invite with them to new events because they know that if they don’t want to talk, they know you will.

Heading off on vacations with friends, always up for the latest gathering or party. The girl who is rarely at home because she’s filled her life with work, school, the gym, and friends.

****

When confronted with the comment of being a clam, my only reasoning is that it was because of him. He asked how was it his fault? I explained that it wasn’t his fault per se, but the causes were tied directly to him.

When he said he was surprised and happy that I’ve “decided to live and finally get a life”, I felt compelled to remind him of who I truly am. I reminded him that I’m the outgoing girl who’s always on the go and always has something to talk about. The “me” he came to know was a mere shadow of the person I truly am.

It was an interesting conversation. One where he actually asked me how everything was going with me. Something he hasn’t done in years. So, do I think he’s any less self-involved? No. Do I think he’s matured and is wiser? Please.

So what’s with his sudden about-face? I don’t know and don’t care. It was just a nice, brief conversation with an old friend. The type you’d have if you ran into them on the street after not seeing them for ages.

Oh, and the insult of finally getting a life (whether implied or not), was totally ignored. I just couldn’t do it. I just can’t be bothered getting riled up over something as petty as that comment from him. Why is that? Because I don’t think he meant it. And if I thought, even for a moment, that he did mean it? He’d be missing his head. Why? Because I’m the girl you don’t piss off – if you enjoy having your head attached to your body that is.

I did mention his girlfriend though (the one he still will not say anything about to me). I mentioned how the information he was asking me about he probably could have got from his girlfriend. If she even had access to that information, that is. I explained to him that at her company the top dogs were the marketing and sales people. Anyone else was pretty much at the bottom of the Totem Pole. Unless, that is, she’s been promoted out of data entry into Marketing.

Subtle jab, reminding him how he’s downgraded. But that’s me. I’m a bitch like that! heh

I’m all about the randomness….

Because I’m all about the random comments lately, and the fact I haven’t been able to finalize a single freaking topic for a post, here’s a jumble of odds and ends from my daily life.

Don’t worry if they don’t make sense to you – my life and my thought process rarely makes sense to anyone.

1-I’ve given up most carbs and starches recently (pasta, potatoes, rice, and no breads except for flat bread once in a while).
2-I’ve discovered a love for stomach crunches – who knew?!
3-I uttered the phrase “My fat hurts” in relation to #2.
4-There’s such a thing as an abdominal massage and when in pain due to #2 it’s wonderful! Thanks to a specific person who indulged my princess side and performed this task.
5-I’m walking for 45 minutes almost every day.
6-I bought a fancy schmancy Weight Watchers all-encompassing bathroom scale and have been loving watching the numbers drop rapidly (mainly in part to #1)!
7-I had fun watching fireworks with my mom and a friend last night. Getting stuck in the parking lot wasn’t fun but we went to Harvey’s to kill time and that was fun.
8-Quote from last night, “You could play basketball with his ears!”
9-I’ve been reading like a fiend! I’ve recently discovered The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (I’m a geek).
10-I’m going to re-read all my Harry Potter books in preparation for the final one.
11-I’m preparing to part with a large sum of money on Friday. How is it that I’m buy my tickets in 3 days? ACK! 120 days until my planned departure date.

I’ve run out of randomness for right now. I’ll think up more later.

I’m in a better place lately than I have been. I miss my dad every day, sometimes it’s a song, sometimes it’s a memory. I still ache but I know he’s okay.

I guess I’m starting to deal….

You’re a stun one Quoyle. Now go ride a donkey.

I’m warning you now that this post makes more than one reference to Newfoundland and all things Newf.

If you understood the first sentence in this post’s heading, then congratulations. You too managed to finish The Shipping News. It’s a wonderful story about a man discovering himself, the demons of his family history and generally living life in a small Newfoundland Village. Unfortunately it took me nearly a year to finish the book, but now that I have I’m grateful I did. It really was a beautifully written book that brought the area to life. I also highly recommend watching the movie as well. Although not a comedy, I certainly had a few laughs (perhaps because certain characteristics of the characters belong to my family as well). I hope to tackle Brokeback Mountain sometime this year as well.

If you understand what the second part of the heading means, than you too are either a GBS fan or have had enough experience on the East Coast to know what I’m referring to. In my case, it’s a little bit of both. And apparently I too have somehow developed the Maritime slur, that although more prominent if you’re from the great province of Newfoundland, is common among all East Coasters.

I’ve had people ask me because of the way I say certain words. I don’t hear it, but others do. I was born and raised in the east end of TO, thanks. I am very concious of the occassional Irish accent that creeps into my voice though. And everytime I hear it I’m tempted to laugh and do the jig.

Please no leprechaun jokes

Other than that, I don’t really have much to say. I’ve been spending this last week physically drained. I’m sleeping 7 hours a night but I’m not waking up at all in the middle of it and not dreaming, so when I do get up I feel like I haven’t slept at all.

In case you haven’t noticed, I do things backwards a lot. I need to wake up one or twice a night in order to feel rested. And if I’m not actively dreaming to the point where I wake up from them than I know I’m not sleeping well. The only dreams I’ve been having have during the 10 minutes after I hit the snooze button.

This has been the longest week every although the days have gone by quickly.

See what I mean? Does that make sense to anyone else but me?

Inspiration from outside sources

Since it’s Monday and my last post was sometime last week (curse my stupid home computer), I felt the urge to write something. Unfortunately I am lacking in the creativity sector. So, as a temporary solution for I went to Theresa for suggestions.

And this is what I end up with:

1. Jay got his license and can now drive on his own. Next step? Conquering the highway and its chaos. I told him I’m finding a bomb shelter and hiding.
2. Theresa once put her hand on a hot burner to see if it was hot because she didn’t believe her mother.
3. I once swallowed a screw (and nearly choked on it). Don’t ask why I did it because I don’t know why. Anyone else thinking of the the lady that swallowed a fly?
4. Ben got a puppy this weekend. Her name is Bailey. She scares the bejeezus out of my cats who are easily 5 times bigger than her. Tigger spent the better part of the weekend on my microwave stand and Mia on top of the chair.
5. I drove the Blazer last night. The first time I drove it I didn’t have a license. I now have a G1 but didn’t have it with me. This does not bode well!
6. I found a link to a girl I went to high school with. I feel like a lurker reading about her life but I don’t know if she’ll remember me.
7. I current have a whopper of a case of heartburn.
8. I threw out 2 bags of paper/junk that was floating around my apartment.
9. I want to tackle the boxes in my closet in an effort to purge and entertain myself for free (yes I find purging garbage/old junk/crap in general fun). I think it will be a very liberating experience.
10. I’m hoping my brother-in-law will fix my computer for me and get me a copy of Access this weekend. I love databases and have been wanting to create a DB to track my books (which ones I’ve read, which ones I own, what I want to buy, what sets are incomplete, etc.)

I am now done. I have nothing else to say right now. My life is boring but I love it!