Dig Up

Back on Victoria Day my niece’s 29 year old boyfriend (yes, he’s older than me) made a comment about women being confused and not knowing what they want. He made this comment while out with 4 girls (the boy has a death wish). And if you know anything about me at all, you know I didn’t let this pass. He tried removing his foot from his mouth but only managed to shove it in further. My cousin (and not a cousin to my niece) told him ”to keep digging up”.

Oddly enough, I find this phrase quite appropriate concerning my life at the moment. I fully admit I’m stuck, and I feel like the few attempts I’ve made have been as futile as “digging up”. My drive has, and I apologize for the really bad pun that’s about to happen, driven away. The catch-22 here is I know how to go about changing how I’m feeling, but as I said, I just can’t bring myself to do it.

I’ll never say this to Metro (my nickname for my niece’s boyfriend), but in this instance I really am confused.

Anyone feel like giving this girl the proverbial kick in the ass she needs?

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good
Does this really need explaing?

I’ve been a little preoccupied with life in general lately to really post anything. This is a total 180 from last year when it was the lack of events that prevented me from blogging.

I’m rarely ever home before 10 pm now. And, in the off chance I do show my face before then, it’s for an hour at most before I’m once again heading out the door.

So what is keeping this girl away from home, and her wordpress account? Life.

Monday’s and Friday’s I have a session with a personal trainer at my gym for an hour, which is then followed by cardio and stretching.

Wednesday’s find me at the local university listening to a lecture in my Marketing I course. Last week’s topic? Ethics and Social Responsibility. Thrilling, no?

And, as of this Saturday, I will be attending the in-class portion of my driving school lessons. Yes, this girl is going to drive.

In between there I make several other trips to the gym to follow my PT’s workout regime, perform some exciting cardio exercises on the stationary bike and eliptical machine, hang out with friends, or attend any other functions that pop up.

I’m starting to run on autopilot, and considering what I’m currently dealing with, that’s not necessarily a bad thing

The Bad
Those things in life that test your patience.

My oldest sister is once again acting like an idiot. I’m not surprised, but it’s very tiring.

My hearing test today confirmed what I already knew. The hearing loss in my right ear has progressed and is no longer “within the acceptable” range. Who even knew there was an acceptable range for hearing loss?! My left ear, which also suffers hearing loss, is still within the “acceptable range”. The scarring has faded on my right ear drum, but is still there. That scarring will always be there though. So that leaves me with a soon to be scheduled visit with an ENT Specialist. I am neither surprised, nor impressed. I’m classifying this as “Bad” until I see the specialist. Depending on what he/she says may cause this to shift into another category. We’ll see.

The Ugly
Those things in life that test your sanity and your faith.

Added to this is my Aunt’s health issues. Last year, around this time, she was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors fought it with chemotherapy and she went into remission. Unfortunately the doctors did not think it was beaten. Sadly, they were right. She has recently been diagnosed with another tumour, and this time the odds are not in her favour. The tumour is 3 times the size it was last time and there is a very real threat that it may have travelled to her brain. I’m normally a pessimist in life, since it leaves less roomfor disappointment, but I think in this case I’m going to happily block out this news and live in denial. Please do not burst my bubble. This year has been bad enough that I do not want to deal with this.

And, as if all this wasn’t enough, “that day” is quickly approaching. Please do not ask me how I’m feeling about this. It’s quite possible that may just break me.

I am the Queen of Paranoia

Do you have any idea just how paranoid I am? Do you care? Well, too bad. This post is pretty much about my issues and my ever looming insanity and if you read it than you’re going to know.

I live alone (except for my two furry hippos) and enjoy it. But, every night before I go to bed I check my windows, the sliding glass doors in my enclosed front porch (there are 2 doors to get to my front porch) and the sole closet that’s crammed full of crap.  I cannot fall asleep if I do not perform this ritual for fear that someone is lurking outside and waiting for me to forget to perform my ritual.  I have no room in my little closet because of the boxes that are piled in there and the logical part of my brain knows that there’s no way at all someone could be hiding in there, but the illogical part will always rule supreme.

When I moved into my apartment the bigger of my two furry hippos (Tigger) developed a tendency to climb into the fridge.  This is quite the feat since he’s not exactly small.  I closed the door on him one night (yes, on purpose) to try and scare him out of this new habit.  I opened the door 10 seconds later and found him curled up in a ball and completely unperplexed by my experiment.  In reality he looked up at me as if to say, “Do you mind? I was going to take a nap.”  Ever since then, I always check the fridge to make sure one of the hippos hasn’t climbed in. 

When I transfer photos to my computer, I’m absolutely paranoid that the pictures didn’t save properly (don’t ask me why because I don’t have any inkling why whatsoever).  As such, I end up with 2 copies of my pictures plus the ones still on my memory card.  Once again, even though I’ve saved the pictures I’m afraid to remove them from my memory card.  I still have pictures of my friends wedding from a year and a half ago.  I will hold off on clearing my memory card until I have no room on it at all.

I also have a preference for even numbers and will freak out if you put a sticker on me (especially price tags and stickers from fruits and veggies).  A lady I worked with eons ago put banana stickers on my keyboard one morning before I came in just to watch me freak out.  She wouldn’t take them off and, since I freak if I have to touch them, I used my letter opener and then went to get a new letter opener from the supply room.

Why am I tell you all this?  I’m not really sure.  It’s more than likely because I’m bored and have nothing all that interesting to say.

So there you have it.  This calm and put-together facade that I present to the world is really nothing but a cover for my raging paranoia’s and issues.