Archive for June, 2007

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Random Comments From Here There & Everywhere

June 21, 2007

Some of these comments are verbatim, others are paraphrased.

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“Hey, pretty girl.”

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“Would you have the nerve to say that to me face to face?”
“Probably not.”

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“You have me so confused that I don’t know what you want.”

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“I don’t know why you’re laughing – it was just an observation I was
making… nothing related to our discussion at all!”

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“I don’t want to say what I was going to say because it’s going to sound like a line.”

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“What’s with the freaking pity party comments?” (said while laughing)

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“I’m copyrighting that name. Every time you say it you owe me $1.”

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After I used the copyrighted name again, “You owe me $2, I’m sure you can find a way to pay me.”

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“You’ve gone home now…

But… let’s just say. I’ll wait until you’re ready to talk – you don’t
push me, so I shouldn’t push you.

Completely off topic – But, your Mom was a great Step Mom. Kids should
never be a deterrent.”

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“Goodnight princess.”

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“You named yourself after the dog?”

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“Sweety, I never use guilt trips.”

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“Don’t lose weight. I want to squeeze those pudgy cheeks.”
“The cheeks are always like that. I inherited some annoyingly high cheekbones from my dad.”
“Good.”

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“You have awesome dimples.”

By the way, this is the only comment I’m claiming I said.

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The Truth Comes Out

June 18, 2007

Okay, so the whole truth isn’t coming out. To be honest, a miniscule tidbit is coming out and that’s it. I’m so not even close to being ready to talk about it. And I don’t think to many people would understand where I’m coming from anyways.

To quote Britney Spears, “Oops, I did it again.”

For a girl who loves to live a drama-less life, let me tell you I’m doing a bang up job of causing drama and unintentionally to boot. When the hell did I get to be center of this whole shit? Sorry, I’m swearing, I’ve got a lot of things to think about at the moment.

It’s just that I literally have no idea about how this all started. Okay, maybe that’s not true. I have an idea of where, when and how it started. But, um, how the hell did I end up in the position I’m in now?

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap.

Can someone find me a rock to live under? Life was so much easier before I rediscovered “me”.

Oh, by the way, there was no real mystery in relation to my previous post. This post though? It’s written in code.

And for those I’m having dinner with on Saturday night, I will still not be ready to answer questions about this post.

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Intrigue

June 14, 2007

There’s a mystery afoot. Involving who I’ve got my suspicions. Involving what isn’t totally clear. So how is there a mystery? I don’t really know that either. I’ll probably know more in a few weeks. Stay tuned.

The Queen of Vagueness that is I.

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Missing Pieces

June 13, 2007

Okay, so this is going to sound strange to those who know me in real life. Part of me has felt like it’s been dormant, or just plain missing, for a very long time. I can’t explain what it is that was missing; it was just part of me that felt unfulfilled for a lack of a better word.

But lately, that feeling has disappeared. I’m feeling like me, the real me, the girl that had no inhibitions and wasn’t afraid of anything. Sometime during the last few years I became something I swore I would never be: scared, reserved and shy. Did I have any of you fooled? Probably not.

Lately though, I’ve been feeling like the energetic and spunky girl I used to be. I’m glad I’m feeling like the real me. I still can’t place what caused it, or if I can, I still can’t admit it.

Maybe it’s the healthy eating? Maybe it’s the exercising? Maybe it’s the trip? Maybe it’s just certain friends I’ve been talking to lately? I honestly don’t know.

Whatever it is, I’m happy that I’m back.

I have other things to say but I don’t think I’m going to write them right now. I don’t have the words for it. It’s all good though. I think….

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Memoirs

June 8, 2007

I’m reading a memoir of this woman called Janine Latus. The book is called “A Sister’s Story of Love, Murder and Liberation: If I Am Missing Or Dead”. It’s dedicated to the memory of her sister Amy.

You know it’s going to be a good book when the back reads like this:

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Hey, I finally say, he hit me.

He what?

He hit me. A couple of times. Pretty hard.

She is quiet. Then she says, Are you okay?

I don’t think so, I say. I think my nose is broken. And maybe my ribs.

She gasps.

He hit you in the face?

Yeah.

That son of a bitch, she says. What are you going to do?

I don’t know.

Your broke up with him, didn’t you?

No, I say. I mean, it wasn’t all his fault.

Janine, she says, there is nothing you could have done to deserve this. Repeat after me, nothing.

She is my baby sister and I am ashamed that she is the wise one, the one who is witness to my failure. I don’t say anything. We are both quiet. Then she speaks.

Are you going to wait until he kills you?

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Only 40 pages in and I’ve already been angry beyond belief and nearly brought to tears.

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Is that history rearing it’s head?

June 5, 2007

I’ve recently been in touch with an “ex-boyfriend”, currently “friend”. I use that term loosely because we were all of 15 when we did the teenage tango called dating and I’m talking about the opening notes of that tango (we dated for a whole month perhaps and back then that was a long time). But I digress.

So, this friend and I have been swapping emails pretty regularly the last few days doing the usual cha cha cha about what’s new in our lives, what we do for a living, if we’re single, if we’re married, and so on and so forth. I, as you my faithful readers well know, am currently in the single category. Whether that’s happily or not depends on my mood. This new friend (are they really new if I’ve known of them for almost half of my life) is apparently happily married with 3 children. No, you did not read that wrong. My friend has not one, not two, but three children! Did I mention that none of them are babies? Oh, okay, now I did.

So in one of these emails he touches on my singledom, and makes a couple of comments which could be taken in an offensive manner, but is not the way he apparently intended for it to be taken.

He comments on how of everyone he’s been in contact with lately I was the one he expected most to be married, and/or have children. He remembers me being very “loving and warm” back in the day and how he expected some guy to just melt when he met me. As well as how he can’t believe that guys in this city would be as stupid as him to let me get away.

My question is this, although I’m sure this is all meant to be taken in some form of complimentary way, does it sound like there’s more to it? Does this seem slightly odd to anyone? I happen to know of conversations he’s had with other acquaintances and none of them seem to have even come close to this.

Just what kind of impression did I make on this guy? What kind of impression have I left with all of my exes? Am I the same person now as I was then? And if so, how the hell am I single? Is it possible I was nicer then? Or maybe it was because he got my top unbottoned when we were 15? haha

To be continued….